How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
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Home Page > Relationships > How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
Posted: Feb 08, 2009 |Comments: 0
| Views: 2,152 |
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Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple\’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.
Communicate and visit often
It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some \”rules\” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)
Avoid jealousy and be trusting
One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\’t met or he/she didn\’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Be positive
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\’t have \”face-to-face\” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.
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About the Author:
Visit http:www.waiit.com the Community Website for anyone in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or interested in this topic.
The site features articles that provide advice and tips about long distance love. You’ll also find forums, videos, and testimonials from people who experienced long distance love.
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How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
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Question…
Long Distance?
Well, not too long distance, but my boyfriend is planning on moving a couple hours away. It’s not that far, but we wont be able to see each other on a regular basis. I’m very worried about our relationship suffering because of the distance and our schedules. We just got through a rough patch where he was doubting the relationship and I was doubting his love for me, and now he wants to move to pursue a career. Although I don’t want to hold him back, I’m afraid that if he really does leave that things will get bad again. He tells me everything will be okay and I agree with him, because I don’t want to make him think I doubt his decisions. I believe in him and I support him but I’m afraid that our already fragile relationship can’t take the move. Every time he discusses it I get upset and tell him that it’s just because I will miss him (which I will), but really I’m afraid that it will push us apart again.
Should I tell him how I feel at the risk of hurting his feelings and possibly losing his trust, or should I let it go and hope that things will work out? I suffer from anxiety problems and I know that it will really be hard for me to keep it in. I really want the relationship to work. I’ve even told him that I would move with him, but he told me not to because he will only be gone for a few months. He’s very excited to pursue the career and has “BIG” plans for us upon his return.
Answers…
Answer by ~*Jill*~
I would definitely give the long distance a try for a couple of months. If it’s not working out, the best thing to do is be honest with him and you guys can go from there. Hope everything works out!
Answer by babygirl31
if u have doubts, u may want to tell him. u don’t want to continue and the relationship fails.
let him know how you feel, and maybe u can move closer to be with him….
Answer by moderlysoberelf
my EX boyfriend went into the army. I saw him maybe two three times a year if I was lucky. I supported him and I was on the phone with him, I paid his bills and made sure everything was taken care of. We were engaged to be married and then he cheated on me while he was home on leave. Our realtionship was very fraglie by that point even though we loved each (we still talk as friends) I had to let him go before he hurted me more.
Go ahead… give us an answer about this Long Distance post in the comments section…
Related posts:
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I have a long distance relationship. My six month is in a month… we have been long distance for 5 months because we met when i was doing an internship in florida. I live in NY and he lives in Ohio… its even longer then your boyfriend is trying to move. Sure you will miss him like CRAZY and its going to be frustrating when he has SOMETHING that prevents him from calling or visiting. TRUST ME but if he really loves you… it will work out. Just calm down and be happy for him because in the end, he is working on his career so that he can support you. Thats what guys want… they want to be able to provide for their girls.
if the love is there it shouldn’t push ya to apart, but the way you react as far as when ya to talk about it. it does show that you doubt what he says
Long distance can be hard but it can also let people know where they are in their realtionship… it can strengthen your communication skills and allow each of you to have pleanty of time with your friends making you more appreatiate of your time together when you do getto see each other…
I would definatly give long distance a try and tell your boyfriend why you are worried… if it’s gonna work you have to be able to communicate with each other
best of luck
Just take it slow and i say if he wants to pursue his career then i say why don’t u go with him so you 2 can be together and you can find a career you like close to him and then u guys won’t damage your relationship anymore then it already is.
I am in a long distance relationships. We have been together for 3 years. I haven’t seen him in 7 months but we make time to talk to each other everyday. He moved accross country. I won’t lie it is hard. I miss him a great deal but we have come up with ways to make it seem like we are in the same room together. For example we will watch a movie together over the phone ( make sure you have a great long distance package! I use Primus.) When I have frinds over I will call him and put him on speaker phone so he can Join in the fun and say Hi to everybody. I am sure everything will work out if you trust and love each other.
My boyfriend and i were in the same situation, but i am the one that moved away. This is the idea we ended up with.. give it a shot. If you break up now, you’ll be sad and single… if you stay in the relationship you’ll be sad, but you’ll have a reason to look forward to coming home to. It’s definately goign to be hard, and it might be too much for you guys, but if you don’t give it a try who knows what will, or could’ve been. Your relationship will suffer, my boyfriend i and i fight more often because we miss each other.. and it’s been extremely rough. If you tell him that you doubt his decisions he might regret not leaving if he decides to stay, but if he goes away, he might chose to come back. You can’t control the situation, just make the best of it.